Here follows a retelling of the Aztec Fifth Sun legend. In the original story, Nanoatzin, the old god, is pitted against Tecuciztecatl, the proud young god, in a battle to find their place in the heavens. In this reimagining, the protagonist and the antagonist are brothers who are destined to take their place in the heavens, but are rivals for same love interest. The names selected are North American native names to give it a more familiar flare. As usual, comments and critiques are welcome.
Target age: 9 to 14 years. Both genders. Word count target: 1000
Takoda’s Song
Takoda had never felt so cold as in these last weeks. How many days had passed? A hundred? A thousand? Maybe more. Here in the Cave of Preparation, the Feather-Spirits waited with him while the new planet was finished. He could remember when Elu, the Great Eagle and Creator, had summoned him.
“Takoda, most humble of Feather-Spirits, I have chosen you to give light to a new world that I will make.”
“Great Father,” said Takoda, for he dared not speak his name, “I accept this grave honor.”
“At the appointed hour, the Chosen Ones will sing the Glimmering Song and become stars. And one will be given a great and terrible task.”
Takoda had left Elu’s presence brimming with great joy. What could the special task be? He had heard rumor that only the best Feather-Spirits were chosen to be lights. He had heard that Sakari, most virtuous of Elu’s angels, would go to the Cave as well.
He looked at her now, shivering in the icy cave, radiant as the shining star she would become. No one spoke in the cave, but they had often stared into each other’s smiling faces. He hoped that she could see in his eyes how much he loved her, how much he yearned to spend eternity with her in the new sky.
Nearby, glaring at him with growing envy, was Kuruk, strongest and proudest. Long had he endeavored to win the affections of Sakari, who had laughed at his feats of strength, and giggled through his long-winded odes to his own mighty deeds.
Takoda loved Kuruk as well, for he was his brother. He knew Kuruk resented him now more than ever.
“Folly!” Kuruk had charged long ago, when he found out that Takoda was chosen. “You are not yet grown, and yet you are picked to give light.”
“You are hardly older than I,” Takoda reminded him. “Let the wisdom of the Great Eagle bear itself out.”
In the Circle of Heaven, their rivalry had been one-sided. Takoda was humblest of angels and meek before his brother, even in front of Sakari. He wondered if that was why she never had pledged to him.
Here in the Cave, it would be different. Takoda prepared his heart and steeled his mind for the terrible task. Whatever it was, he would finally show Sakari his worth; he would finally be with her. Surely she would pledge then.
The Cave shook with Elu’s call. The time for light had come. One by one, the Feather-Spirits emerged. First went Nodin, swiftest. He sang the Glimmering Song, filling the opening of the Cave with silver brilliance. Takoda’s eyes brimmed with tears as the strains soared to their climax, Nodin’s body bathed in white flames as his music swooped and swelled and pulsed. Then Nodin was gone, swept up into the sky.
Takoda watched them go out one by one to sing and then alight: Meda, holiest, then Aiyana, the fairest, then Wapeka, most skilled weaver, and Taima, of loudest voice. He waited until the end, hoping to perform the great task. His eyes followed Sakari as she stepped forward to take her place in the sky. Finally, only he and Kuruk were left.
“Come forth and gaze upon this world that I have made,” came the voice of Elu.
They both walked out of the cave, and Takoda could now see the new starlit world, but something was terribly wrong. The creatures, great and small, were shivering and slowly dying.
“One of you must save them,” declared Elu. “Sing the Death Song and give your body to be burned forever. You will die doing this thing.”
This could not be! Takoda thought of Sakari, already waiting for him. He looked at the beautiful creatures, lovingly made by Elu, yet fading in dark shadows of the new world.
Suddenly, Kuruk began to sing, boldly and proudly! This would be his greatest achievement! But fear gripped his heart as the red flames began to touch him. He refused to die. He refused to leave Sakari. Kuruk failed and turned to stone.
Now Takoda breathed deeply of the icy stillness, and sang out, of love and death and the world’s beginning and end. As the red flames swirled about his limbs, still he cried out in singular melody. Yellow fire consumed him and his body convulsed in agony. Feeling his life force slipping away, he whispered a prayer: “May Elu bless you, Sakari.”
Now Elu sang. In the strains of the Divine Medicine song, Takoda was no more, but was reborn as Ishan, the Sun. Elu lifted him into the sky to warm all the creatures of the world.
Kuruk he placed on the far side of the world to be the Moon, never again to shine but by the light of others.
“Great Father,” cried Ishan. “I did not know it would be like this. I know not words to speak of this joy. Only I regret that I will never again see Sakari, brightest of stars.”
“Child, she is pledged unto you forever, for she knows your fate and your worth. Look upon her now, for she is the morning star, always to share in your radiance.”
At this Ishan smiled, and looked lovingly at Sakari. Then he turned his face toward the earth.
© 2009 Daniel Alegria
Hole in a Green Glass Hill 